Mother’s Day for Those Who Ache
It was Mother’s Day. Years of quiet ache landed me that day standing in front of a kitchen sink, pinching thorns from roses.
I am blessed, you see, to be a part of a church that in years past has honored all women on Mother’s Day by giving them a simple, lovely rose—a reminder that they are treasured.
In the raw years of longing unfulfilled, when I wondered if I’d ever have a “rightful” place on this day, that single rose was a balm, each and every time.
And, so thoughtfully, someone pinched the thorns off of those long stems before they were handed out, taking care so they wouldn’t hurt those they were intended to bless.
One year– the day in the opening line above– through a sequence of events I can’t even recall, I ended up as one of the thorn-removers.
What a picture that makes, eh? Me, trying so very hard not to be burdened by my empty arms on this day, standing there and removing thorns. From something beautiful.
Just like Mother’s day: beautiful… but it stung, too.
Whether from Loss or Longing—or maybe even both—it is a day that can carry an extra pang for many.
If that is you, if you flinch when you look at the calendar and see that Sunday drawing nearer… can I just whisper things of refuge, just for a moment? My wish for you?
Beloved,
(for that is what you are… so very, dearly, ultimately treasured by our Jesus),
Tuck into Him.
For though He has fathomless purpose for you right where you are,
He also feels your hurt. Longs to comfort. Knows each and every tear.
May you be keenly aware of how cherished you are by the Creator of your soul…
And today? Know that you are not alone… and that I am praying for you. This very moment, as I try to harness this into words, fail, and type anyway… I am praying for you. For a heart guarded, eased, carried… by this peace:“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
It’s a day that can’t always be neatly contained in a Hallmark card.
But your heart? All that’s stirring there, the ache, the yearning, the sometimes-so-heavy-you-wonder-how-it-can-all-fit-in-there hope or grief? It can be fully embraced by our Lord. Wrapped tight and carried each and every step.
Sweet Reader Friends,
Loss has many faces, many of them knit into the very walls of our heart. Loss of a beloved one, whether mother or child, ache for what might have been, pain over relationships traversing rocky ground. For any number of different reasons, we may find ourselves reminded of a vacant or tender place in our lives on this day. For years, personally, it was because of my own empty arms. I don’t often talk online about this, but– in case it holds any morsel of hope or encouragement for you or someone you know– you can catch a glimpse of my journey by clicking here.
And for all of us? Perhaps—if you feel led—consider those dear to you, and see if there’s someone there, someone quietly aching, who you can gift with the precious and strong gift of prayer as they approach this day. They may never know you’ve given it, but it is a priceless, priceless gift.
Amanda Dykes, you are beautiful and such a blessing!
I admit, Mother’s Day is difficult for me. I have a lovely MIL and stepmom to celebrate, but no mom here on earth to hug other than them. They are wonderful — but they aren’t my mom. So I quietly celebrate the blessing of 19 years with the one I did have, and choose to embrace celebration of them too — and all the years to come.
As I’ve gotten older, my own desire to be a mother has grown as well, but that hasn’t happened yet. I’ll rejoice when it does. 🙂
Oh, sweet Lindsay, your response to this day and the way you choose to celebrate the time you had with your dear mom… it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing that– I will be praying for you as this day approaches. How proud, how thrilled, your Mom must have always been to have you as her daughter!
And in response to your last sentence– count on me to rejoice with you when the time comes. 🙂
Just Beautiful, Amanda! You’ve really encouraged me to think about those I might have overlooked on that day, and how I might be a blessing to them. Thank you.
Summerlyn, I’m right there with you. I’m beginning to see so many different sets of circumstances in peoples’ lives that might make it a difficult day. I’ll join you in seeking ways to be a blessing. Thank you for your encouragement! 🙂
What a beautiful reminder! All women, who with a tender heart, love children and validate them through that love are mothers. They are women who take the time to show Christ’s love to others. Such a lovely post. Such a blessing to read!
You’re right, Janette– women who take time to show Christ’s love to others… what a blessing! And what a joy to see you here, as one of those women. 🙂 Thank you so much for stopping by!
Wonderful reminder today, Amanda, to look past ourselves on this day. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, kind Heather! You are a blessing to so many… I just loved the link you posted yesterday to Roseanna’s blog post from last year. So much wisdom there.
I’ve hopped here from Cynthia Lovely’s blog. Thanks for sharing these special and helpful thoughts on Mother’s Day.
Welcome, Elaine! I’m so glad you stopped by!
Amanda, your heart is so beautiful and tender. A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul…but it’s the longing that we must first endure that hurts so much. I had a season of life when my arms were empty. I thank God the season wasn’t long, but it taught me a great deal about myself–and about God.
Gabe, you are so right– that scripture about a longing fulfilled being sweet to the soul… often we forget how much the longing can hurt. But the sweetness afterward– it’s cherished even more because of it. Thank you for sharing this!
Amanda,
Thank y0u for sharing such lovely thoughts for Mother’s Day. This year was a good one for me – I was out of town visiting my favorite church and the service was amazing. A wonderful balance of taking some moments to honor all mothers, including “spiritual mothers,” but keeping the whole focus of the service on the wonderful love and mercy of God. As long as we keep our eyes on Him, everything is more beautiful.